Choosing a gift for a loved one with dementia poses some unique challenges at the holiday season. Will this person appreciate and enjoy the gift? Will they feel comforted by it? Or, alternatively, will the gift go unused or even worse, stress or frustrate your loved one in some way?
As in all gift-giving, the primary guide is the recipient: their tastes, values, preferences, pleasures and dreams. The stage of memory loss can also provide a useful framework for gift selection. Speaking with their caregivers, if you are not one of them and don’t have frequent contact, can also be a good source of guidance and ideas.
Early Stage
In the early stage of memory loss individuals are typically aware of their challenges. Stay away from anything that will remind them of that. Emphasize existing strengths, not areas of cognitive impairment. Choose gifts that support independence and activity.
- Musical CD’s or DVD’s of favorite performers or Broadway shows – a great gift they will continue to enjoy as the condition progresses
- Tickets to a concert, sporting event, or other appropriate gathering (not something that is complicated to understand or follow)
- A gift certificate to a favorite store
- Take them out to eat at a familiar restaurant
- Go to an art or science museum, the zoo, or other venue of particular interest
Mid-Stage
In the middle stage of dementia individuals typically experience challenges with at least some activities of daily living. They may have mood changes and go back and forth between the past and the present.
- Family photo albums, collages or DVD’s
- Comfortable clothing or nightwear that is easy to take on and off
- For some, stuffed animals and dolls are a comfort
- Picture books or DVD’s of places of their travels are good for stimulating positive recall
- Religious items if appropriate
- Non-toxic art supplies (may require assistance or supervision)
Late Stage
In the later stages of dementia functioning declines considerably over time. There may be limited capacity on the part of the individual to engage. The individual may require assistance with all activities of daily living, and may or may not be able to speak.
If the person is still active, safety is a primary concern. Give careful consideration to how a confused person might misuse the gift, such as tasting or ingesting something that is not meant to be eaten.
As the person becomes more withdrawn and less active, safety is once again less of a concern. Please evaluate the following suggestions specifically for your loved one. If you have concerns, consult a healthcare provider for guidance.
- Stuffed animals and dolls
- Music
- Hand and body lotions, aromatherapy
- Soft, warm items such as: blankets, throws, shawls, hats, scarves, footsies, etc.
- Houseplants
- Massage
For additional resources on gift-giving, consult this guide by the Alzheimer’s Association.