The diagnosis of “dementia” automatically presents a lot of questions that have to be answered, and many tasks that must be done. If a loved one has been diagnosed with dementia, one of the biggest questions you may have is whether or not a memory care community is the right choice.
“Most seniors say that they want to remain at home, and many adult children would say they’d like to take care of Mom or Dad, and during the beginning stages of dementia this may be possible,” says Jennifer Trout, Executive Director of Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham. But as dementia progresses, the individual will need more and more assistance, which can be difficult for caregivers and sometimes downright dangerous for all parties involved.
“The fact of the matter is, in most cases, your loved one will need to move into memory care in order to receive the assistance needed,” she says. Many adult children feel guilty about this, and many seniors balk at the idea as they remember the “facilities” from the past. “But moving to memory care doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a caregiver or are giving up on your loved one. Memory care communities have come a long way and are now places where residents enjoy structured activities, have constant companionship and all the help they need in order to live as independently as possible.”
In fact, says Jennifer, moving to memory care before it’s ‘needed’ can often be incredibly beneficial – for both the senior with dementia and the adult children. “By moving into a memory care community during the earlier stages of dementia, seniors are able to make the place feel like home so they are comfortable as the disease progresses,” she says. “It also allows them and you the opportunity to form relationships with the staff and make friends with other residents. We’ve actually found that residents can thrive and regain some abilities when they move to our community, simply because they’re in an environment that’s been specifically designed to help them celebrate their remaining abilities, give them needed assistance and provide them with social events and activities.”
Is It Time? Questions to Ask Yourself.
While moving to memory care before it’s absolutely necessary can be a great option for some seniors, many families choose to wait until they’re sure their loved one will benefit from the new place. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some important questions to ask yourself to help you decide if it’s time to make a move:
- Is my loved one unsafe? If your loved one lives alone, have you noticed issues such as forgetting to lock the doors, not turning off the stove or eating expired food? Have there been a lot of close calls like falls, wandering or getting lost?
- Are their needs beyond what I can provide? As the disease progresses, your loved one will need increasing help with dressing, bathing, grooming, eating and moving around. Not only that, but you may often be their only form of social interaction. Have you reached the point where taking care of your loved one’s needs is causing you to neglect your own?
- Is their health at risk? Managing chronic illnesses on top of the issues that dementia brings can be taxing. Are you struggling to juggle all your loved one’s medications and getting them to doctors? Are issues like incontinence or aggression coming to the point where it’s hard for you to manage?
- Is my quality of life suffering? While this question can cause many caregivers to feel guilty, it’s important to remember that you have to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. If you’re becoming irritable, stressed, depressed or are showing other signs of caregiver burnout, it might be time to give yourself grace.
- Would my loved one ultimately be happier in memory care? Is your loved one currently living a social life with lots of activities? Has their health declined? Would things be better for them if they were surrounded by caregivers and other people?
Things to Look For.
If you haven’t answered “yes” to the above questions, your loved one may still be capable of living on their own or having you as a caregiver. However, even if moving isn’t the right choice now, it may be in the future. As your loved one continues in their dementia journey, here are some things to look for that may signal that more care may be needed.
- An increased sense of forgetfulness, like constantly missing appointments, forgetting to take medicine or not remembering a conversation you just had.
- Not paying bills on time or at all – look for unopened mail piling up the next time you visit.
- New dings or dents on the car if they still are driving – this could indicate that it is becoming unsafe for them to drive.
- Expired food in the refrigerator or shelves, which could indicate that they’re forgetting to go to the grocery store.
- Any signs of “accidents” in the kitchen, like scorched walls or burned-out appliances.
- Signs of depression, loneliness or boredom, such as no longer going out and interacting socially or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed.
- Signs of paranoia, fear, delusion or aggression.
- Signs that your loved one is finding it difficult to care for themselves, such as wearing dirty clothes, poor hygiene or unexplained weight loss or gain.
Discussing the move to memory care is a difficult conversation that can cause lots of emotions on both sides. “Remember that this is something that won’t get resolved in just one conversation, and remember also that it’s important to do your research and find communities in your area that can support you when it’s time to make a move,” Jennifer says. “At Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham, our goal is to provide support to our residents and families by creating a true home that is comfortable and secure, giving our residents the assistance they need and families the peace of mind they deserve.”
Exceptional Care. Fulfilling Lifestyle.
Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham provides assisted living and memory care that is comfortable, positive, safe and engaging. Exclusively dedicated to caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia or memory impairment, we’ve created a wellness-focused lifestyle that promotes dignity and individual preferences. Our memory care professionals receive specialized and ongoing training designed to help residents maximize their independence in a secure, calm environment – making a truly positive impact on the lives of our residents each and every day.
Dedicated Memory Care
No matter what level of care or service is needed, residents and families can rest assured that our programs address the various stages of memory decline, allowing residents the opportunity to age in place.
Personalized Services
At Bridges® by EPOCH at Hingham, our services are designed to recognize and adapt to the unique challenges and individuality of each resident, while ensuring comfort and safety. We believe in a full-service approach to care and provide a high level of personalized attention for every resident through all stages of memory loss.
Contact us today to learn more.